we couldve' been happy. you and me.

Harry and Sally sitting in a tree:

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love,

then comes marriage,

then comes the baby in the golden carriage

The Web of railway tracks

The Web of railway tracks is driving me crazy. I can't remember where it starts, I don't know where it will end and, more so, I can't figure out where it is heading. Am I even still on track? The criss-cross, the knots, the roughed-up rust, it gets harder and harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Will there be an end, for there to be another beginning? A better, new, more straightforward one I hope.

I want to trust my heart yet the siren is betraying its clarity. I want to take another step, yet my body freezes from its fatigue. Is it a sign to stop or do I just need a compass?


- Nina

(no subject)

When you fall in love, do you fall in love with the person ; or the pre-determined concept of a person?

spring-clean.

i just attempted to spring-clean my room. i tore out old pictures from the wall and plastered new pieces of decoration in the form of glamorous bargain wrapping paper. I didn't have enough $ to buy too many, so the 6 of them are dispersed in a random fashion across my room, not the exact kind of effect i'd intended (i like fully covered/decorated walls i.e. wallpaper); but it should do. i think it makes more sense to buy many bags then 1 branded bag- i.e. LV for $4000? I think its pure madness to pay an anglo-company for their multi-million dollar advertising  all so you can carry around their ugly logo in the form of a bag to look good. Instead of 1 you could have 20 and cheap but equally gorgeous; with the option to mix and match- green shoes = green bag etc/ vogue effect/ nautical effect/glamourpuss effect/ vintage etc. and the list goes on. You can look like a multi-million dollars flea-market items as raw material if you know how to work it. 




i like graffitti too, and the Singapore culture very obviously does not perpetuate it. That's why we have stale, bland, lifeless creatures being produced from our extremely regimented system of a society.

Its amazing how these vandals (those who spray art illegally on walls) /street artists (those who paint legally on the pavements of Southgate@ Melbourne ) begin with the end in mind before they create their artwork. You would obviously have to possess extremely good macro skills; to be able to stop, pause, and think of the big picture, before putting the small pieces of a puzzle together. Begin with the End in Mind- one of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective of People by Stephen Covey. Helicopter view! My dad used to say; and he still continues to repeat that phrase still this day (almost on par with Clean your room! Messy room = Messed up mind! and Be Organised- Do your Filing!).   If you have time, do check out SomalyMam.Com (Angelina Jolie wrote a column for her @ Time 100 (May issue); a former sex slave, she's now an activist for that cause. Its amazing how people in disadvantaged situations can rise above them and not only that, proactively do something to fight back. It makes them all the more stronger and better then us common people who continue to lament each day about how we need to find direction in life and save the world. 

in the blink of an unmarried eye!

i see my friends/ acquiantences get married one by one by one and then they start making babies - i.e. alex and amy forever xxx. john and jamie in eternity xxx. facebook update- oooh. offspring on the way- baby due in may! and then i remember his/her prepubscent image- skinny, bespectacled, lazy and carefree and now theyve moved on to become someone's husband/wife/ father/ mother its just so amazing, but crazy.

like what the heck happened in the meantime?- we were once still schooling, mere kids. eating reccess in the tuckshop, getting permission from the teacher to go to the loo during mathematics; teenage days- hip hot cool and happening skipping class to watch movies at orchard road, getting used to boys for the first time in college- exchanging (sexy misty) glances across the school canteen.

ohmygawd. time. has. gone. by. in the skip. of an eye. does not even sound right, but whatver. and then i look at myself and im still somewhat of a mess- jobless, deranged , overtly emotional, craving pancakes all day all night- unable to cook anything remotely decent, planning out a dramatic future not involving a husband and/or kids (god bless their annoying souls!) - furnished with wild dreams (heavy emphasis on dream) of healing the world, climbing the highest moutain in peru, backpacking in mexico at the same time being a hotshot lawyer/entrepreuner/ hotelier/cashing in the big bucks leading a flashy lifestyle- yatchs/ boats/ property/ luxury/cocktails/ events/ being able to have, (and flirt with) at my disposal- bankers, lawyers, hot men in general.

but hah.

i'm still me. messy, and perhaps to some extent, deluded. the peer pressure kicks in. i begin to feel. old. and, un-married. like its almost a baaaad thing. i always tell myself i give me ten years from now to even begin to consider becoming part of a whole. attached. copulated. spouse of another human being. god so forbid; maaar-rieeed. Marriage/ anything associated with starting a family, for me at least is a thing of the Extreme future (Capital E). you see people talk about settling/dealing with peers getting married but they were always much older. but now i see it happening to my generation already-something that was a non-issue for so long- when people all around you start holding weddings and declaring everlasting love to their fastfound soulmates; in sickness, and in health, no doubt, i feel my individual stubborn self, slowly wither away. and i am afraid one day i may no longer have the strenght, to withstand, this huge marriage/baby/family hurricane and may eventually succumb and settle, so that i may belong once again.

What then, will happen to those long-held fascinating dreams of richness and fame?